6 Eggs for a Dollar

The assignment: go through old receipts, bank statements, canceled checks, etc. What do they say about your life, past or present? Do they represent anything? List them, and then use them to write a poem or story. (Mine is a very dark tale, and although completely true, I don't actually ever feel like that. Okay, not often. My life is really not that bad, it just worked in the story.)

P.S. I've given in to my dark side, and it turned out to be one of the better things I've written lately.

I was a broke 22 year old. I had recently graduated from college, had yet to find a “real” job, and was still making little more than minimum wage. I was searching for a way to pay the upcoming rent; shuffling through old papers, and searching for anything I could sell. I found my receipt for last month’s rent, which I had paid on the fifth: four days late. I had perfectly good explanation; I had gotten paid on the fourth. I looked at my old pay stubs, and then at my bank statement for last month, and all my receipts that I had collected since the last time I paid rent. There were no “extras” among my receipts. I had not been near a clothing store in six months, I had only gone out to dinner once, and only to the bar once. My receipts, all six of them, included two grocery shopping receipts, three convenience store receipts, and a receipt from the day that I didn’t have enough time in the morning to make myself a lunch for that day at work. I had gone to the pizza place across the street and charged $2.62, the cost of a slice of pizza and a small diet coke. My bank statement was even more depressing; I had overdrawn my bank account three times, and been charged $19 for each overdraw. They had charged me $19 for the $1.92 I spent at the post office mailing something to my brother. It was ridiculous. The more I looked at all of the numbers, the more desperate I grew. I needed to get a real job, and soon. I couldn’t even pay my rent, so the student loans I had taken out to go to my dream ($40K a year) school were obviously out of the question. I sat down on the floor, and reconsidered donating my eggs. I mean, really, I could spare a few thousand of them, right?

I Don't Want to Get Out of Bed

Okay, here's the assignment: first, list all the possible reasons you can think of for not wanting to get out of bed. Then use as many of those reasons as possible to justify your decision to stay in bed. Write the beginning of either a poem, a story, or an essay.

-because I don’t have to

-because I’m still tired

-because it’s much easier to fall back asleep

-because because it’s raining/snowing outside

-because it’s so warm under my covers

-because my dream isn’t over yet

-because I don’t want to wake my lover

-because it’s my day to sleep in

-because my roommate’s dreaded boy-toy is out there

-because my head still hurts from last night

-because the sleeping pills clearly haven’t worn off yet

-because it only takes seven minutes (on average) to fall back asleep

-because my bed is sooooo comfortable

-because the floor will be cold

I realize that I am awake about ten minutes or so after I actually awoke. I open my eyes and see the early morning light streaming in through the windows. “Curtains would be such a good idea,” I think. I roll over, not wanting to get up yet. I’m pretty sure there was a dream that I just hadn’t quite finished yet. I love Sunday mornings, and the fact that it’s my day to sleep in. I read somewhere that it takes the average person seven minutes to fall asleep. I’m so tired still that I am sure that it will take even less than that to fall back asleep. Nine minutes later, I am still awake, although not ready to get out of bed. I look over to the window, and see snow falling through the frost-covered panes of glass. Thinking of the really cold floor that I will eventually be forced to step on (barefoot, of course, because who sleeps with socks?), I snuggle back under the covers which are so toasty warm and glance over at my fiancé; really, it would be cruel to wake him so early. I get really comfortable, which is fairly easy in our cozy little bed, and the slight movement wakes my fiancé enough to put his arm around me and draw me closer to him. What reason could I possibly have to get out of this bed right now? Absolutely none, and thus I stay.

Okay, unrelated stuff: massively busy juggling my online classes (never take 5 at once, its suicide) with my full-time job. But in happy news, it appears quite possible that I will be getting a promotion. Thus, I may post even less, but will actually be making rent each month. Sweet! And in more happy news, the Crookster (fantastic professor from a year and a half ago) has agreed to write my recommendation letter, so I now actually have a shot at getting into the college I actually want to get a degree from! And I turn 21 in 3 weeks! Life is fantabulous!!!